i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize