My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
