No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
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