check it out our google latitudes are spooning
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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