I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Randomize
