i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
