I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
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Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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