My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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