Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I stole a fireplace last night.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
My bed is full of blood and feathers
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
