Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
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Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
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It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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