toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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