No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
