what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
