Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
