His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
