that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
You can't just leave with hair like that
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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