You just made me feel so damn special
if i can run in heels then i can drive
Apparently you make a good broom.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize