I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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