hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
All the doctor said was why
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
