ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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