I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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