never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
