The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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