I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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