hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
