Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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