He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize