What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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