ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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