It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
