Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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