Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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