i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
