I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Randomize
