I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
