I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I could have mohawked her pubes.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
i now understand why vodka
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
