Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i just google imaged poop.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
