Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
