brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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