Will you blow on my dice?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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