i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
