and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
