If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
