I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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