I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
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