More tranny stories later!
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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