I got chris browned last night
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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