she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
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I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
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Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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