I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
