If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
