Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
