I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
