I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
