i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
