he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
She's the barista slut.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize