Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
